Sri Aurobindo saw more clearly. He said - it was even the first thing he told the boys around him when I came in 1914 (he had only seen me once) - he told them that I, Mirra (he immediately called me by my first name), 'was born free.' And it's true, I know it, I knew it then. In other words, all this work that usually has to be done to become free was done beforehand, long ago - quite convenient! He saw me the next day for half an hour. I sat down - it was on the verandah of the 'Guest House', I was sitting there on the verandah. There was a table in front of him, and Richard was on the other side facing him. They began talking. Myself, I was seated at his feet, very small, with the table just in front of me - it came to my forehead, which gave me a little protection ... I didn't say anything, I didn't think anything, try anything, want anything - I merely sat near him. When I stood up half an hour later, he had put silence in my head, that's all, without my even having asked him - perhaps even without his trying. Oh, I had tried - for years I had tried to catch silence in my head ... I never succeeded. I could detach myself from it, but it would keep on turning ... But at that moment, all the mental constructions, all the mental, speculative structures ... none of it remained - a big hole. And such a peaceful, such a luminous hole! Afterwards, I kept very still so as not to disturb it. I didn't speak, above all I refrained from thinking and held it, held it tight against me - I said to myself, 'make it last, make it last, make it last ... ' Later on, I heard Sri Aurobindo saying that there were two people here to whom he had done this and as soon as there was silence, they panicked: 'My God, I've gone stupid!!' And they threw it all overboard by starting to think again. Once it was done, it was done. It was well-rooted.Mother's Agenda , volume - 1 , 1951-1960 , page 421-22 , September 20 . |